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Yelp Video

June 4, 2012 kindly put together this video for us. Check it out on our Yelp page:


And tell us what you think of Lazybones!


Two Years

May 30, 2012

We’re coming up on the 2 year anniversary of the Lazy Blog. And in true fashion, I’ve been kind of lazy about it. This blog was created to keep you informed on the on-goings of Lazybones and the people doing your laundry. However, the busy day-to-day of my part time position here at Lazybones, as Marketing Manager, and one man marketing department, has kept me from doing so.

Well, that’s changing, right now. Let’s get started.

I should have posted this a year ago. You may have already seen it. But we have to start somewhere:

This 30 second short succinctly sums up what Lazybones is all about it. It was shot and edited over the course of one weekend, in my apartment. You’ll see my mysterious silhouette answer the door.

And here’s little behind the scenes bonus for you. The directors cut:

This version was ultimately rejected, but much of its footage was used in the final release. See if you can spot the differences, and tell me what you think in the comments section here, or on Youtube. See you next week!

The Lost Hold Script

August 24, 2010

Lazybones on holdAhoy Lazybones,

Have you ever called Lazybones’ ridiculously helpful and efficient phone staff, only to be put on hold? It happens on occasion, mostly because we’re just making sure the hold que still works (it still does last I checked).

Now, some companies will bombard you with obnoxious advertisements and stuffy music, while you wait, but not Lazybones- hold on. I’ll be right back…

Try Lazybones for FREE!
Your first load is us! That’s up to 10lbs, free.

Use the coupon code “Free Wash” and take a load off, on us.

And we’re back. I’m being told we do do that? My bad. Well, we have every intention to change that, just as soon as we come up with an acceptable substitute. I, for one, proposed the following, which was unfortunately put on hold:

Thank you for your patience. Your call will be answered momentarily. In the meantime, enjoy the inspiring rags to riches American tale that is Lazybones Incorporated:

William Henry Bones III came to America with little more than the lint his pockets. He took a good hard look at that lint and saw opportunity. The year was 1804, and back then, pick up and delivery laundry and storage service was a luxury reserved only for the world’s most elite aristocrats, let alone for as low as 99 cents a pound. But, like his grandfather, William was an enterprising fellow, who sought to bring the luxuries of the ruling class to the masses. It was the Bones’ family way. As is evident in the Bones’ family memoirs.

William’s grand father, William Henry Bones I, owned and operated the first and only known dry cleaning service in 14th century Europe. It was all wet cleaning back then. It is said that the allied forces would have never defeated the Poland’s mythological fleet of griffins, without Henry Bones’ impeccable dry cleaning service. For, as Charles Darwin discovered in 1593, a mythological beast’s only known weakness is incredibly fresh smelling uniforms. This simple fact of nature is what allowed the Bones’ dry cleaning fortune to flourish.

But in 1651, world president Abraham Lincoln imposed and a martial law against Griffin kind, for their seemingly conflicted nature. “An animal divided against itself, cannot stand,” Lincoln famously said. And so, within a years time, all Griffins were separated into what we know today as common eagles and lions.

With the war over, and griffins extinct, the Bones’ family fortune was in shambles. Bones lost all ambition, and one night allowed his dry cleaning facility to burn down, in a freak over drying accident, while he slept on a haybell, earning him the nickname Lazy Bones. Since that fateful night, the Bone’s family name was tarnished.William Henry Bone’s III was determined to restore his family’s namesake, in the new world. He always felt is was his destiny to pioneer personalized, easy, and affordable laundry and storage service, with free pick up and delivery.

And so, Henry invented the Internet, where he published the world’s first website, Anyone across the land could sign up, customize their service, and inform themselves with the Lazybone’s FAQs. During that same year, Henry invented the washing machine and drier, accidentally, while helping Thomas Edison on his failed automatic shoe-horner. This was all very timely, as Henry began picking up, washing, and delivering all of Wisconsin’s laundry. And he didn’t forget to resurrect his grandfather’s legendary dry cleaning service, which came in handy during the 1996 Pegasus invasion of Wisconsin.

After the booming success of Lazybones Wisconsin, Henry set fourth in covered wagon, across the Rockies, to open a Lazybones in Colorado, then New York, Boston, and Delaware. Economists estimate that Lazybones was responsible for 84% of the Industrial Revolution. And to this day, Lazybones is the world’s #1 Laundry and Storage service, as voted by Laundry and Storage Magazine, for the past 700 years running. If William Henry Bones were alive today, you can be sure he would say, “Sign up today, at It’s fast and easy.”

Thank you for listening to the History of Lazybones. If you have any questions or comments, please direct them toward to our resident Lazybones historian, at extension eleventy-seven.

Maybe you’ve got a better idea, and if so, let it be heard. Or if you’ve enjoyed this informative and 200% factual tale, let it be heard. Perhaps, with enough support you could actually hear this gripping story, while on hold, via the soothing voice of a cheap Morgan Freeman impersonator.

July 13, 2010

Alright, this Yelp review needs to be read:

In a conversation that took less time than an unsolicited call from my deranged aunt-(“Oh hey Cath, work is good. Boys are good. Dog is good. Life is good. Want to talk to dad?” -chucks portable phone-) I managed to arrange a pickup for 15lbs worth of laundry at my apartment between 6-7pm, perfect for my work schedule.

Lazybones laundry tries to make city living a bit easier with their door to door services and overnight laundering.  They weigh your laundry before and after cleaning to ensure nothing is missing, and will even wash your new clothing separately at no extra charge.
Seems like a great service for college kids, as there are summer storage options, and semester package deals.  But my days of Wooliting out sharpie genitals from my clothing are far behind me.

They recommend separating out underwurr and socks into separate garment bags, but to truly give them a test run, I just let it all hang out. G STRINGS everywhere, whites and reds co-mingling, bondage outfits(two truths and a lie?), utter garment bag chaos.

I don’t have a scale in my home, because I don’t want to feel bad about that container of Utz party mix I ate the night before, so I had to scientifically approximate 15 lbs($1 extra for every 1lb you go over).  I stood in my room holding my obese Chihuahua mix in one hand, and a pile of dirty thongs in the other. This feels about right.

The next night, there was a knock at the door. A man I had never seen before wanted my panties.  I wrote up my contact information and slipped it in the bag, before giving him the goods, I asked “do you think this is 15lbs?”.  The kind man delicately scooped my delicates and said “hmmm, I say 11lbs.”  Perfect, you’re the best. See you tomorrow.

The next day, I had my bi-weekly post-work quarter life crisis John Mayer breakdown when my blathering was interrupted by an unknown number.  Oh,  soups on! Being a few blocks away, I told him he could leave it in my lobby, but he insisted on waiting.

There was the Lazybones van parked in front of my home, and the same man from the night before, who is no longer a stranger after potentially seeing my Hello Kitty underwear.  He handed me a SMALL bundle wrapped in paper and he said “11lbs, I was right!”  we shared a moment. I tearily waved my hanky at his train car as he seemed to disappear into the setting sun.

Back in my apartment, I unwrapped this bundle and saw all my wares completely folded by the hands of God into this unimaginable solid WALL-E cube of clothing(please see shitty cellphone picture local photo  upload Appendix B).  They even humored my mismatched often one-off  socks by stacking them together.  All genres of clothing were cubes together in thin postcard sized piles of tank-tops, long sleeves, short sleeves, etc.  And everything smelt AWESOME too.  Liz:newly cleaned clothes::cat:catnip.

They even gave me a laundry bag with a laminated tag with all my contact information for easy pick-up next time.

Verdict, amazing service.  Would be very handy if I was still in school. However, I am not in school which poses a few problems. 1.)I work a 9-5, but sometimes things come up after work. And by “things” I mean happy hours, and I’d hate to have to rush home for a panty delivery ;*.  So I’m hard to work with, basically. 2.)I go through 15lbs of laundry in ~4 days.  Because I don’t dry clean for work and wear loads of jeans and sweaters in the fall , and wash sheets/towels-I would be faced with serious overage fees on the weekly.

Maybe someday there will be a Lazierbones service that tailors to slackoffs like me by coming into my home, compiling my laundry, holding it up against the dog, DVRing The Rachel Zoe Project, chasing me around the city to find a good drop off time, and feeding me chicken wings. Just because.

Are you allowed to review reviews? I give that review 5 stars. I encourage someone to top that. There will be prizes involved. No, I’m not trying to persuade to write a favorable review, just an entertaining one. Favorable is just -well- favorable.

Liz gave Lazybones 4 stars. That’s great, but it’s not 5 stars. And I intend to rectify that star, Liz, by the power of star bullet points:

  • In Lazybones’ defense, you don’t have to commit to a weekly schedule. We’re flexible. Any interval is possible; weekly is just the most popular. If you want us to come by once every 2 weeks, that’s cool. And -naturally- you could unload twice as many pounds per pick up.
  • Or you can buy pounds in bulk, ahead of time, then use them at your leisure, without having to worry about going over board. Whenever you want, as much as you want.
  • Also, you don’t need to meet the driver at your door. You can use your lobby or foyer etc. Joe was just being courteous because it was your first time.

Nonetheless, thank you Liz!

Lazy Tuesday

June 22, 2010

It’s a Lazy Tuesday in the office, here at Lazybones HQ. Everyone’s in a meeting or something, so I’ll answer a customer email:

Jason B, in Boston, asks:

What’s the most block pounds of laundry service someone has ever bought?

Good question, Jason. The most block pounds of laundry service ever purchased was 800 lbs. I know, crazy. It was purchase by this pair of twin brothers. They actually have duplicates of all their clothes, so they can strut down the street in identical outfits. I’m not kidding. They’re two of our best customers.

matching laundry

(Dramatic Reenactment)

If you’re wondering what “block pounds” means, it’s the option we offer to buy pounds up front, instead of committing to a 10, 15 0r 20 lbs a week regime. You can use as many pounds as you want, whenever you want. For example, the aforementioned twin brothers bought 800lbs, so they can have us swing by at anytime, to pick up as much of their laundry as they need (until the 800lbs run out). Pricing per pound is slightly more, but you get that added freedom and convenience. Learn more about it here.

By the way, I added this blog’s RSS feed to the facebook page. If you haven’t already, become a fan.

The Lazy Blog is Born!

June 18, 2010

A blog about a laundry company? Who would want to read this?

I’ll tell you who: people who want the inside scoop on upcoming contests,
deals and promotions, from the good people at Lazybones Inc.
How to enter, how to win, and how to keep on being lazy. It’s all here.

In addition, I will also regularly post relevant and irrelevant information, including but not limited to:

  • Coupon Codes
  • Customer letters
  • Responses to said customer letters
  • Contest winners
  • Staff Bios
  • Customer Bios
  • Random opinionated articles
  • Random opinionated articles thinly veiled as ‘purely informative.’
  • And random requests

I’m Brien Hopkins, your informant on the inside.
Notice the mustache. They haven’t caught on yet.

End transmission.